SCREAMIN’ FROM THE CHEAP SEATS

Screaming vociferously at the Court of Arbitration for Sports at the Olympics. The organization informed USA Gymnastics that their appeal of the scoring for Jordan Chiles on the floor exercise would be denied for, and I quote, “rules do not allow for an arbitral award to be reconsidered even when conclusive new evidence is presented.”

The basis for the CAS decision was that the USA head coach did not file the inquiry within the allowed one minute after the score is posted. The CAS says the inquiry was filed 1 minute and four seconds but USA Gymnastics submitted a video showing Head Coach Cecile Landi filing the inquiry 47 seconds after the score was published. For that reason, USA Gymnastics stated the appeal process was far from over but, for now, the International Olympic Committee ruled that Chiles should return her medal.

Memo to the IOC: My response would be one similar to the one given to the German commander at Bastogne when he demanded the American surrender, to which Brigadier General Anthony McAuliffe emphatically replied, and I quote again, “NUTS.” Or, if I wanted to kick it up a notch, which I really do, the answer USA UN Ambassador Adlai Stevenson gave to USSR UN Ambassador Valerian Zorin when he would not answer the direct question as to whether the Soviet Union had placed offensive missile sites in Cuba. Zorin danced around a direct yes or no, verbalizing that Stevenson would get his answer in due course. To that, the former governor of Illinois uttered the famous response, and I quote for a third time, “I am prepared to wait for my answer until hell freezes over.”

And that’s what I would tell the IOC: The bronze medal Jordan Chiles EARNED will be given back to you when hell freezes over.

Book it, Dano